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Ars Erotica
November 2002

Girl Talk

A few years ago a doctor invented the word "autogynephilia" to describe why some people become transsexual women. Autogynephilia is loosely defined as the sexual desire to become a woman. A lot of trannies are neither fond of this name, nor the idea it represents.

For one thing, the Manual of Weird Behavior is full of "-philias," and I'm already officially classified as one kind of crazy, in that I've been diagnosed with gender dysphoria. For many doctors, said diagnosis is required for hormonal and other medical treatment. I'm in no hurry to have that diagnosis nuanced.

This autogynephilia concept was borne out of an effort to understand why a person would want to become a woman, especially when she faces opponents like genetics, hormones, the pink collar and the U.S. Passport system. To willingly become a woman is illogical and inexplicable when phallusphilia reigns supreme. Suddenly I'm slapping my head and wishing I had a V-8.

I think it's fun and all, trying to figure out the precise reason I decided to become a transsexual, but the thing is that I am a transsexual now. Even if I were to revert to my birth sex and start swaggering around like a blonde Fonzie, I'd have to change my sex back, and then I'd be a double-tranny. People would call me "Double T" and "T-square." I'd get joke gifts of Terminator 2 merchandise. It would be hell. There's no easy way out of this situation I've gotten myself into. Not that I'm complaining, exactly, because check out this perverted idea: I actually enjoy being a girl. The pay sucks and people don't really listen to me when I speak, but the bathrooms do tend to be cleaner, and sometimes we have big stuffed chairs and chaise lounges in there too. Boys can't be all that smart, because they never have plush furniture in the john. And for the amount of sex they have in their bathrooms, you'd think they would have thought about that already. Chaise lounges, guys, and doors on the stalls. Pretty please. My FTM spies will be watching.

Perhaps the single most frequent question I get is "why" I changed my sex. Never "Why are we all still assigned sexes in this post-industrial technocratic society?" No amount of diagnosis, cellular exploration, or psychological evaluation is going to explain my own transsexuality. I am a transsexual now because it is the only way for me to function in concordance with what feels "natural" to me, and nothing more. I have been trying to survive economically, which is a step or two below sexual gratification on the Maslow scale of needs.

Casting the desire to become a woman as a sexual perversion is a unique twist. For one thing, it discounts the existence and sexual maturity of more than half the population of earth. I mean, we mustn't let people think it healthy to desire becoming a woman, regardless of birth sex. If we had a society full of women who respected themselves sexually, we'd have chaos for sure.

Some transwomen claim their autogynephilia proudly, term and all. It's great that they find power in their womanhood - more women should be so lucky - but I find it troubling that my sisters would find solace in the pathologization of their own sexuality.

Perhaps we can launch from this autogynephilia notion to land on other, similar categories. What might we call the perverse sexual desire to become a Russian matron - autobabushkaphilia? Or the desire to become a neutered rooster - autocaponphilia? Oh, the places you'll go!

The term, autogynephilia, was officially coined by Dr. Ray Blanchard in 1989. Research and defense of the concept has been established by Dr. Anne Lawrence, a self-identified autogynephilic transwoman. Both physicians are careful to make distinctions between categories of transsexuals, and Lawrence points out on her website (http://www.annelawrence.com) that many of the critics of the concept are not themselves autogynephilic. Those who transition from male to female at a younger age, for instance, are less likely to be categorized as such, as well as most of those who identify as heterosexual after transition - meaning they are into dudes.

I've been told it is "understandable" that female-bodied persons might want to become men, due to the obvious inequity in the distribution of wealth and labor in the world. Statistically speaking, they'll get a better deal than us dames. We live in a world in which a tranny may have to choose not to transition because she cannot afford to become female in this economy, or even because she won't be attractive enough to pass as female.

Maybe the real reason people get so upset about the existence of transwomen is that our happy capitalist society pours such a disproportionate number of resources into developing the talents of the male children that when one of them decides she is a woman - which is to say, to become downwardly mobile along a translucent class structure - she becomes an affront to that social structure. It's like she pissed off Don Corleone on his daughter's wedding day, so she gets punished within an inch of her life, and then gets to walk the rest of her days watching over her shoulder.

Clearly, only some kind of perverse sexual urge could supplant her drive towards economic survival.

There has been a chorus of voices debating about autogynephilia in and around the trans world, and very little of it ever says anything about giving this term credence by treating it like a static concept, rather than one which is still under construction. It's not too late to dismiss this concept entirely and dream up categories which truly re-imagine the sex and gender system, which are designed to respect and empower the very people embodied within that system, i.e. all of us, GIBLT and otherwise.

I'm talking about revolution. I'm talking about a search for comfort, truth and good faith. I suggest that the next step in our revolution is to kick this autogynephilia concept out to pasture and redefine it - perhaps to define a sexual desire to spend time with hot women in sleek cars. Electric cars, that is - or at least hybrids.


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